In our contemporary culture, the prospect of communicating with——or even looking at—— a stranger is virtually unbearable. Everyone around us seems to agree by the way they cling to their phones, even without a on a subway.
It's a sad reality——our desire to avoid interacting with other human beings——because there's to be gained from talking to the stranger standing by you. But you wouldn't know it, into your phone. This universal protection sends the : “Please don't approach me.”
What is it that makes us feel we need to hide our screens?
One answer is fear, according to Jon Wortmann, an executive mental coach. We fear rejection, or that our innocent social advances will be as “weird.” We fear we'll be . We fear we'll be disruptive.
Strangers are inherently to us, so we are more likely to feel when communicating with them compared with our friends and acquaintances. To avoid this uneasiness, we to our phones, “Phones become our security blanket,” Wortmann says.“ They are our happy glasses that protect us from what we perceive is going to be more .”
But once we rip off the band-aid, tuck our smartphones in our pockets and look up, it doesn't so bad. In one 2011 experiment, behavioral scientists Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder asked commuters to do the unthinkable: Start a . They had Chicago train commuters talk to their fellow . “When Dr. Epley and Ms. Schroeder asked other people in the same train station to how they would feel after talking to a stranger, the commuters thought their would be more pleasant if they sat on their own,” The New York Times summarizes. Though the participants didn't expect a positive experience, after they with the experiment, “ not a single person reported having been embarrassed.”
, these commutes were reportedly more enjoyable compared with those without communication, which makes absolute sense, human beings thrive off of social connections. It's that : Talking to strangers can make you feel connected.